Fitful Sleep, and a Positive Outlook

Nights seem to be hard work at the moment. We tend to be in bed at reasonable hours, and I get off to sleep OK. The worst thing is when you wake up, think you have had several hours sleep, look at the clock only to find its an hour, or even less! Several episodes like that make the nights long, drawn out and pretty frustrating. Jen tends to sleep quite lightly, so if I wake, and sit up, or get a drink, she will wake too. Makes for long drawn out nights where you end up waiting for the morning to come round. On top of that of course it means you're not getting the benefit of a good night's sleep which right now is pretty important.

Over the last week my arm has been quite painful but certainly nothing that I can't deal with and I guess the dynamic nature of both the cancer, and the chemo, along with the recovery from the pinning of the fractured bone will all be contributing to some possible pain as the whole thing continues doing whatever it's doing in there.

On a positive note, the lump in my arm seems to have become far less obtrusive this last few days. It's still there of course, and I do still get some pain with it, and still struggling with use of the hand due to the radial nerve pressure but the fingers seem to be moving better, and there seems to be a slightly improved range of movement overall. Of course there is no scientific basis for this but perhaps the chemo is having an effect on the lesion in the humerus?

I have today had another CT scan, which will enable Mr Raman to have a comparison with the original one I had way back in January: we are seeing him next week so should have results by then. At this point we are approaching half way through the 6 cycles of chemotherapy so while there's still a way to go on the planned course, one might hope that there could be some effect.

From my perspective I can only stay with a positive mindset, and not allow negative thoughts to come to the fore. This cancer will not beat me, and that is the simple fact of it.