Sleeping Beauty

This last few  days have been pretty unremarkable in that again (touch wood) I have had very little reaction to the chemo, and am already looking forward to the end of next week and the start of cycle 3.

Last weekend I did have a couple of times when I felt rather nauseous and while the effect didn't last that long it was a little disconcerting. However I do have a supply of anti-sickness tablets from the chemo team which seemed to have done the trick.

This week I seem to be forever falling asleep! Again, it's something different, as previously I was hitting a sort of wall in the afternoons but this week all I need to do is sit down, and I am asleep!

As I had previously been told the chemo effects can change along the way and this would seem to be one of those effects. So while I hope there are no worse effects to come, whatever will be , will be.

Settled

A week since the start of chemotherapy cycle 2. To be honest, very little after effects thus far to speak of, which is good. Having seen the orthopaedic consultant a couple of days ago, and the fact he is pleased with the pinning operation healing process I really am pretty much sorted right now.

Only issue is the ache from the radial nerve etc, and with luck, as the chemo progresses, I would expect the lesion in the bone to reduce (that's the ultimate plan of course) and reduce that pressure on the nerve.

I did have one bad night in the week and sat for several hours on the side of the bed till the morning, and at that point I was going through a bit of a !why Me?" time. I think it's inevitable that there will be some emotion, and it is not good to bottle it up: that morning, I sat on the bed and cried, for ages, for no apparent reason, other than a "Why Me?". The close and intimate connection which I have with Jen of course means that those kinds of emotions will spill over to her so for an hour we sat and blubbered together.

We have of course experienced these emotions with Jen before, and even noqw she still gets the frustration from her stroke, but the difference at the moment is that the stroke is "finished" in that the damage is done, and it's finite: we know what she can and can't do, and that's very well defined for us. With the cancer right now it's far more dynamic, and so what is always in the back of my mind is the question "Where next?".

At the moment there are no other indications so I try to dismiss that possibility for now and we work to deal with what we know about, which is the bladder and the arm. Anything else we will overcome as required!

I only have one thing to add, a little picture I found on the the net this week which I attach below.

The Pin

So we had a review with the orthopaedic consultant yesterday. In terms of the fix he's happy that its settling down well enough. There is some regrowth of bone that seems to be putting pressure on part of the radial nerve which is what essentially controls all of the movement of the wrist and fingers so it's a bit of a struggle to do anything dexterous right now. I managed to take a pic from his screen of the pin which as you see runs top to bottom of the humerus, while the fracture is still there.

Because the cancer is at the centre of the bone we have to let the chemo work to hopefully reduce the size of the lesion which will lessen, we hope, the pressure on the nerve. At that time, and if the chemo does it's job then we are hoping to see some increased use of the hand again. That of course will be a good indication that the chemo is at least stopping the cancer from increasing, but that's very much a "time will tell" thing.

The pin, as you see goes whole length so it certainly has stabilised the arm, and the next time we see him the consultant has said bring a pen drive and he will download the whole set of x rays from start to finish which I can then put here.

For now though :

Not such a good weekend

Having had the chemo on Friday, and knowing from before that any effects will take a few days at least to come to the fore we settled down for a quiet weekend. Unfortunately it didn't work out quite that way. For some time I have had a lump that's fairly hard, under the skin around the site of the pinning op. This lump may well be a part of the post-operative recovery as all the bits that were disturbed by the pinning settle down. However there seems to be a pressure on the radial nerve that runs down through the arm to the hand and it has been causing a very persistent ache all through the arm, and creating pins and needles and numbness in my right hand. Added to that the radial nerve is used to control all those dexterous movements we make with our fingers and so my hand is pretty much useless right now.

Because the pain is nerve pain we have increased the dose I take of gabapentin which is specific to nerve pain, but I have spent the last two nights struggling to lay comfortably, or to get much sleep at all.

We did get a call from the orthopaedic consultant's secretary who said he isn't overly concerned about the swelling but we are going to get a fresh x-ray before the review on Wednesday just to be safe.

This week we are having the Short Synachten test as well to ascertain if there is any ongoing cortisol problem. Other than that it's a bit of a waiting game for any effects from the chemo. I guess I just need to accept that tiredness, aches and pains and feeling unwell along the way are part of the next few months for me and I had better come to terms with that.

From the sublime to the ridiculous

Sometimes it's quite surprising how others see us and especially those who know us well. Jen has always said she liked my hair since it was cut short, and over the last couple of weeks a thin layer has grown back. She has this thing about rubbing the top of my head and going off into waves of ecstasy at the feel of the hair on my head!

So the other evening I was likened to a "little soft downy chick" as she stroked the the top of my head, eyes rolling and all cooey like. Then came the sting in the tail. "or maybe.. just maybe Uncle Fester!"

So how on earth does one get compared in the same breath to a cute little chicken, and a character from the bloody Adams Family I ask you?

Part of the Fester thing is because at the moment due to the operation and persistent use of the sling I tend to lean my head forward making my neck look shorter and causing me to look downwards.

So ...

little chicken or Uncle Fester?

who knows.

And so it goes...more toxic waste

We arrived at 10 at Viking Unit to have the chemo, and wonder of wonders there was a disabled space just outside so that was good! As before it was a simple process which involves consecutive intravenous administering of the toxic waste ,, err chemo drugs!

Basically they start with anti nausea drugs, then steroids, then the two chemo drugs carboplatin, and etoposide. Between each they flush you out with saline, and all this is done through a cannula which allows each drug tube to be switched on and off and is administered by a clever pump. All pretty painless really and the whole thing was completed in 3 hours. We also have a supply of anti sickness pills for the next few days, and 2 days worth of chemo horse tablets (remember those?) to take on Saturday and Sunday.

If I am lucky I won't have any more adverse reaction than I had to cycle 1 which wasn't much at all, but I am not holding my breath as they do say that reactions can change each time. Mind you, as I have said before, I will take whatever it needs to beat this cancer crap and nausea and sickness certainly won't stop me.

With all that toxic waste in me we may well save on lighting as I am sure I will be glowing in the dark for the next few nights!

Let's see how it goes.

"Seconds away...Round Two"

I have likened this treatment to a kind of boxing match: it goes in phases rather like the rounds in a bout, in this case its 6 x 3 week rounds. All the top boxers will always tell you that they need a great team in their corner and I would like to say that I have the best team I could wish for: from my wife Jen, and the girls, as well as the rest of my family for all their love and understanding, even thus far when I have been nothing short of a right old grump!. Add to that all my friends on the net whose messages have given me so much strength so far, and to the people at Addison Lee who have been very supportive and very understanding right from the start. I know it won't be the last time I say this but thank you all for that support: It means a lot.

Among all the tidying up at home and getting things organised here its back to the serious business of focussing on the fight  from Friday. Was at the Viking Day Unit this morning for blood tests and pre-assessment and all seems to be OK so it's 10.00am Friday for the start of cycle 2.

Jen also had a call from the Spencer wing this afternoon and they are organising the Short Synachten test to check cortisol levels, and reported also that the blood test this morning gave a perfectly acceptable potassium level so hopefully all that is settling down and there won't be any obstacles to get in the way of the chemotherapy drugs doing their job over the next couple of months.

I do hope that the firs chemo cycle didn't spoil me regards the after effects and reaction, because everyone is quite surprised just how little reaction I did have: but come what may I will take whatever the treatment throws at me and whether it's good or bad I intend to see it through and to stay on top of the cancer and its effects.

One of the important things that happens all through this treatment is monitoring of those effects, and as we have already seen, things like blood tests. Another indicator they always use is weight: now when I was first diagnosed my weight was some 142 kg which equates to 22 Stone 5lb. Today when I was weighed I topped the scales at 129.3 kg (20 stone 5lb) so that's 2 stone gone in a couple of months. Rapid weight loss is not always a good sign, but the chemo nurse at Viking Day Centre said it wasnt anything to worry about at the moment but they will monitor it.

With the new haircur, and new physique I might need a whole new wardrobe soon.

Clips, Cleaning and Chemo

Haven't blogged for a couple of days as we have been on a mad spring clean and among all that we moved the pc's which meant switching them all off. Basically it came about because our eldest has just got a new flat so was moving out. We took the chance to have a major spring clean and thanks to both the girls, and their respective boyfriends who have all chipped in we have redesigned our lounge, and we are very pleased with the results.

Had my clips all taken out on Thursday: the op seems to have healed very well so there should be no problems with any infection worries heading for the second chemo cycle next Friday. So although the second cycle got delayed it only seems like we lost a couple of weeks.

Considering the major trauma that is involved in pinning the bone there are little post operative problems other than an underlying ache that is removed by use of the morphine tablets which I have for pain management so as long as I continue to use those its perfectly manageable.

So there's a picture of the operation site after removal of the the clips. Pretty neat work I think?

There are 2 other incisions lower down on the inside of my arm just above the elbow. One of those clips was weeping a little so it has been dressed but again that should be off tomorrow and the dressing was only a precaution anyway. All told I think there were about 40 clips over the four incision sites.

We will get Easter weekend out of the way and then next week we are heading for blood tests on Wednesday and all being well the chemo on Friday.